Who is an Alpha Male?
A strong and successful man who likes to be in charge of others?
As the label implies, they’re the people who aren’t happy unless they’re the top dogs—the ones calling the shots?

You might have been raised and wired by the media that being an Alpha Male is a plus.
It is NOT, my friends.

I must admit, recently as much as I am reading books, articles, or poetry on women’s issues, I am thinking more and more about men, on how miserable a lot of them are.

Maybe it is rewatching “Mad Men” one of my favourite TV shows, or maybe because I heard Jane Fonda say, “because you guys, you kind of sit side by side and watch sports or cars or women,” she said, “women sit facing each other eye to eye, and they say, ‘I’m in trouble. I need you. Can you help me?’ We are not afraid of being vulnerable.”

I heard a man I really admire say that he has so many plans for his son to get to so many places in life, and when I asked, “what about your daughter?” he said: “oh I just want to spoil her, so she never forgets she is a princess.”
I couldn’t bring myself to tell him, “Man, this is so wrong, you are doing harm not just to your daughter for making her feel like her achievement in life is to be a spoiled princess, but you are also putting so much pressure on your son.”

When watching this new Spanish comedy TV show “Alpha Males”, which by the way is hilarious, real, funny and educational, you see the real dark truth that men are wired from childhood to think that they are the providers, they are the ones who need to achieve more things in life, they get to achieve things by being a man which means for them to show no tears and no fears.

And maybe us women have been set to think that we need to be rescued by these alpha males, media has been feeding it to us since childhood. We are Cinderellas waiting to be rescued with a glass shoe, a diamond ring, or a smile to take our breath away. Are we still living in old age Disney world cartoons? Really?

The reality is you guys don’t know us.
And it is not just your fault.
You keep hearing this very common comment:
“Don’t try to understand women, you won’t get anywhere.”

Why don’t you change the perception though?
Why don’t you say, “Let’s understand these ‘complicated’ creatures”, as you put it?
Rarely I hear men sit down and watch shows about women, I barely know any guys who have watched “Sex and The City” or “Girls” or “Working Moms” or my favourite one “Big Little Lies.”

For years we have tried to be you, why don’t you try – not to be us, because God forbid you want to try to be a woman- but I mean try to understand us.
You might learn something.
We have for sure learned a ton from you.
Instead of thinking you know it all, maybe give it a try.

I know some of you who even stopped reading my blog, ☺ you gave it a try on the first one and once you saw the word feminist on the second one you stopped, you didn’t even mention my blog anymore to me. The fear of admitting that you understand feminism, or even the idea of becoming a feminist stopped you quickly in your tracks.

For years, women had to keep quiet about their issues, or “felt” that they had to keep quiet. The scene has changed, nothing is more exhilarating than hearing a woman actually saying that labour is difficult, pregnancy is a disaster, menstrual pain is a fucking bitch, working in male dominated industries is freaking hard. It used to be praised to be just tolerant and not complain. Men and some women (which makes it even sadder), used to praise the woman who managed to be pregnant, cook, clean, do house chores, go to work, and take care of 2 other kids and a husband, all while making sure to remain sexy and attractive. But is it fair to not be helped with any of this, just because “we, women, can do it all alone?” Now the dialogue is open, now women day by day are showing bravery, we are not there yet of course, but we are getting there.

Guys you should do the same.
If you are going through a financial crisis, relationship crisis or even if you just feel down, talk to whoever you like. Open up, if you don’t, you may become resentful to those around you, and they will be affected by your anger as well.
Yes, maybe Don Draper the dashing character from Mad Men used to be the sexy one but those times are over, us women are making new snow paths in our brains, we don’t think that men have to be the providers, that they need to be tough, and to never cry. 

Guys, start the conversation.
Be vulnerable.
Vulnerable is sexy like Daniel Craig, my favourite James Bond.

And don’t forget,
#Loveistheanswer